Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers:
Please be advised that there will be a mother and her four month old son shopping in our store this morning. As you see her half-sprinting through the aisles with a crazed look in her eyes, please step aside so she can get through the aisles. She is simply trying to compile all the items on her grocery list into her shopping basket in a timely manner.
Once she reaches the food section you will begin to hear loud crying and screaming coming from the green car seat she has perched in her shopping cart. Although the mother may look like she has everything under control, upon closer inspection one would notice the veins throbbing in her neck and the sweaty palms. Sympathetic looks and pleasant smiles will make her feel slightly better. Rude glares and mouths hanging open will only make her feel worse. (She really is trying to hurry.)
Please avoid the urge to approach the mother and inform her that the baby is hungry. He is not. He simply does not like grocery shopping. Also avoid the urge to peer into the little boys car seat and ooohh and ahhh at him. You are not helping and you are slowing the mother down. This is especially pertinent to people with bad breath and smell of cigarettes.
To the cashier who will be ringing up the mothers groceries; do not make idle chit chat. Keep your head down and scan as fast as you possibly can. Pretend that ringing up groceries is an Olympic sport. The mother, baby, and all Wal-Mart patrons within a hundred foot radius will appreciate you the faster you work.
Last but not least, do not reprimand the mother for not returning her shopping cart to the cart corral. She knows the quicker she gets home and takes the baby out of the car seat, the happier he will be. She will resume the courteous cart returning chore when her son is older.