What's wrong with this picture?

Yesterday before I put Parker down for his nap I took his pants off because they got water spilled on them during his lunch. While he was napping I ran to the store. Parker woke up while I was gone, and when I got home I found him outside "helping" his daddy. So, obviously Greg was the one who had to put Parkers pants back on. Can you see what's wrong with this picture?



Hopefully this makes you laugh as hard as I did!

I'm pretty sure things like this only happen to me

Do you ever have moments when you say to yourself, "this only happens to me"? Well, I had one of those moments last night.

I was turning out all the lights so I could go to sleep and as I was about to turn off the living room light I saw a big moth on the wall. Since I don't like holes in my clothes, I figured it would be best to kill it. I opened the pantry door to get the fly swatter, and what do I find? A HUGE spider on the floor. I hurried and grabbed the fly swatter and gave the spider several swats (I had to make sure he died!). From there I turned around and went into the living room where I killed the moth. After I disposed of the moth I went back to the pantry to pick the spider up with the fly swatter so I could dispose of it (I wanted to make sure it didn't come back to life. They do that, ya know). Once that was taken care of I cleaned the mess up off the pantry floor with a Clorox wipe. Yes, I wasn't exaggerating when I said it was huge {shudder}.

After that I finally made it to the bedroom. Greg was already in bed, but lucky for me he waited for me to turn off the light. I say lucky because I happened to look on the bed and notice another moth. On my pillow!!! I whacked it a few times with my slipper, then went off to the bathroom to grab some toilet paper so I could pick it up and throw it away.

Once I get back in the bedroom, I reach up to pull the chain to turn off the light (we like to sleep with the ceiling fan on. Don't you?). I kid you not, as I'm reaching up I spotted an itsy bitsy spider (no pun intended) on the ceiling. It was so tiny that most people probably wouldn't have bothered to wait until it moved out of the range of the swirling fan so they could stand on top of their bed to kill it. Not me. I happen to know for a fact that an itsy bitsy spider turns in to a HUGE spider in a matter of two weeks tops and that it WILL crawl all over me while I'm sleeping and then my son will find it when it's crawling around on the floor and he'll promptly pick it up and eat it. The itsy bitsy spider had to be dealt with right then and there.

After tossing the wad of toilet paper with the now-dead itsy bitsy spider, I went back into the bedroom and thought...OK, at this rate, I may as well inspect all the walls to make sure there aren't any more unwanted pests in my room. Low and behold, I look above my closet door and what do I see? A daddy long legs! Before I could stop myself I blurted out, "You've gotta be kidding me!" I went back to the pantry and retrieved the fly swatter and got rid of what some people consider a "good luck omen".

On second thought, maybe the daddy long legs did bring me good luck because I didn't find any more bugs in my bedroom after that.

Funny Signs!

Within three days I saw both of these signs in and around Jacksboro, TX:

One was while driving down a highway. There was a sign hanging from a guys fence that read, "ALL THIS STUFF FOR SALE". That just struck me as funny!

The doozy is this one: I was at one of the local grocery stores and spotted a booth tucked away in the corner of the "bakery" (The bakery is just a nook in the store where all the bread is located). Hanging on the wall above the table is a piece of paper with this phrase written in black magic marker: "Clean up after your break. I'm not your mama".

Believe me, the next time I grocery shop I'll be sure to have my camera with me!!

This would only happen to me

For as long as I can remember I've always been told that I look younger than I actually am. I grew up hearing, "you'll appreciate it one day". Well, I'm still waiting for that day to happen. It's a little ridiculous that at the age of twenty-eight, I still get nervous when I walk into a liquor store. Why? Because I'm afraid they are going to think I'm using a fake ID and that an undercover cop is going to leap over the counter, tackle me to the ground, drag me off to prison without my one phone call. Get the picture?

I've kind of accepted this simple fact about me, but when I first began my career in real estate I had a real hang-up about it. I was so afraid that people would look at me and think "What does she know? She's twelve." Of course, no one ever mentioned my age, but in the back of my mind I think that's because I firmly believed that knowledge was power, and I made sure I knew my stuff.

A few weeks ago hubby and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. We celebrated by going on a double date to dinner and the movies. Now, looking back, I realize this would be our last anniversary as a couple without children, so we probably should have done something a little more romantic, but what can I do about it now? When we got to the theatre, Greg needed to use the restroom so I did the simple task of ordering our tickets. We were watching the movie "Inglorious Bastards" which is rated R. I ordered the tickets, and handed the guy a twenty dollar bill. After he took it, he gave me a once over and asked to see my ID.

Now, I completely understand a cashier asking for my ID if I had paid with my debit card. In fact, I appreciate it when that happens. But this was CASH for crying out loud!!! Apparently even though I was two months pregnant, I didn't even look old enough to watch a rated R movie. I swear, this can only happen to me!

Oklahoma 911 Call

This makes me laugh everytime!